The Secret to JOY and CONTENTMENT

If, like me, you have struggled, searched and yearned to consistently possess joy and contentment, I believe that there is a secret to  finding these two elusive yet profoundly necessary elements that millions spend their lives in pursuit of but always find them just beyond their grasp.  It would be easy to say, “Send me $99.95 and I’ll send you my latest book that will unlock the secrets to JOY AND CONTENTMENT.  Call within the next 10 minutes and I’ll double your offer to share with a friend and throw in my magic chopper that slices, dices and makes julienne fries!” 

Would you believe it’s easier than that to access ….and that there is no money necessary?

Over the last 5 decades I’ve heard more than my fair share of sermons, after dinner speakers and even quacks peddling the latest and greatest items, making unbelievable and unattainable promises.  Some say, “God wants you rich and prosperous! Give a gift of (fill in the blank) today to…..” and while parts of that are true, mainly I hear a well-meaning person soliciting funds for their own pleasure and financial gain.  Don’t get me wrong: God will bless you when you give but it’s not necessarily monetary prosperity that you will know.

At a gas station once, we witnessed a father at the counter with a small child who was buying lottery tickets (which in pursuit of joy and contentment, you’d be better off to set your money on fire and douse it with gasoline, but….).  When the child asked for a piece of candy, the father said, “NO! You don’t need it.  And we’re not going to tell your Mom that WE bought these lottery tickets! It’s our little secret!” When someone tells you that you must keep a secret to yourself about anything, it’s rarely a good thing.  Nothing will be kept secret long-term:  “After having heard it all, this is the conclusion: Fear God, and keep his commands, because this applies to everyone. God will certainly judge everything that is done. This includes every secret thing, whether it is good or bad.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14)

When I read this morning from Philippians 4, I was reminded once again of what God continues to bring to my attention---and I am a such a very, very, very slow learner! The scripture is included at the bottom but I find lists easier to understand:

• 1.      Rejoice in the Lord!
• 2.     REJOICE! (see #1)
• 3.     Be considerate.
• 4.     God is near.
• 5.     Never worry: Pray and
• 6.      give thanks instead (refer to #1)
• 7.    If, by God’s help, you can do #1-6, His PEACE and CONTENTMENT will guard your thoughts and emotions through Christ Jesus.

Here is where I differ from some: by God’s grace, I WILL CHOOSE to find something to be thankful for in any situation. While God does not send temptations or bad things to us, we can learn from what the evil one (I will not capitalize the name of the enemy!) uses to distract, detract, destroy or stupify God’s children!

Stop for just a minute and re-read #7.  Read it slowly. 

I’ll wait.

Did you notice that if we choose to give thanks and rejoice what will happen?  I don’t know about you but my thoughts and emotions are generally what gets me in trouble.  If I allow my thoughts and emotions an inch, they will jump on me and deflate my day quicker than a sharp pin on a big, fat balloon.  Yep.  BOOOOOMMMMMM!

Allow me to put it like this: my wonderful, loving and faithful husband is handicapped from birth.  Each year his mobility decreases a little bit more.  Tell me: how or why is that something to rejoice about?  I’ll tell you the truth: in the eyes of the world, it is grounds for anger, resentment, frustration and desertion.  I have struggled with those emotions, believe me. Boom! Burst the balloon and then POW, slap to the face.

BUT..... I am a child of the LIVING GOD. I have a choice to make! Because of this, I choose to rejoice that I have a husband who loves me just as I am.  I choose to rejoice that he is God’s child and that he is God’s gift to me!  When he needs help because of physical limitations, once again I have a choice to make: be considerate and loving or be angry and resentful of how it infringes on “my time”.  I could worry about what tomorrow or next year or the next 10 years holds and how on earth will I ever be able to care for him as we age together? No. I will not go there.  I chose to focus on today.  God is near; while I cannot see or know the future, I know who holds both the future ….and who holds me… in the palm of His hand.  Knowing this, I choose to give thanks. I choose to pray.  I choose to pour out my heart to God and trust the future---whatever may happen---into His loving care.  Let’s face it: there is very little we can do to control the future.  What I can control (by the grace of God) are my actions and reactions as the future unfolds!

Paul states in Philippians 4 how you can insure God’s peace.  Did you know that peace is a choice?  It’s not something God gives only to His favorites; it’s available to ALL of His children!  It’s as simple as focusing on what is right and deserves our praise.  The short list includes whatever is:

    true

+ honorable

+ fair

+ acceptable

+ commendable      

= God’s peace

It costs nothing in the finances of the world but it may change some of your relationships when you choose not to gossip around the coffee pot or the water cooler.  Or when you have a choice of cutting corners to finish sooner vs. doing the job correctly, even though it may cost extra time and/or money.  What about the tv shows you watch or the books you read: is it something you could enjoy with your pastor or a child at your side? When you think no one’s looking, do you still choose to do the right thing?  Do you always give your best? Do you admit it when you make a mistake and then correct it? Do you take time to read God’s Word and talk to Him each day?

These are questions I ask myself over and over.  They are not meant to condemn you but to keep me honest.  When I go to bed at night, I want to know that I have endeavored to be and do the very best that I could because that’s what God did for me. When He created this beautiful world …and when He gave His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to die not for his own sin of his own but for my poor, dumb, sorry, rotten, wretched self.  With that in mind, how on earth could I do anything but rejoice?

 “Always rejoice  in the Lord! I'll say it again: Rejoice! Let everyone know how considerate you are. The Lord is near. Never worry about anything. But in every situation let God know what you need in prayers and requests while giving thanks. Then God's peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts and emotions through Christ Jesus….keep your thoughts on whatever is right or deserves praise: things that are true, honorable, fair, pure, acceptable, or commendable. Practice what you've learned and received from me, what you heard and saw me do. Then the God who gives this peace will be with you.”

Philippians 4:4-8

On the Front Porch of Grace

Have you ever pondered something for months only to come the realization that this is something I will think about the rest of my life and still never wholly understand? I’ve been “chewing” on the concept of holiness for over a year now and believe that holiness has much more to do with God’s grace than any of my feeble accomplishments.

As I’ve struggled with this, my thinking keeps coming back to this: if I were to compare the life of holiness to a house, I would pick something like this home.  From a distance it looks inviting and well cared for; in fact, I might even wander a little closer to get a better look. 

As I draw nearer, I want to kick myself.  I’ve been intrigued with the back porch, and now realize there is something much better and bigger on the other side!  What a great place to hang out and relax.   It looks so comfortable—the kind of place I dream of spending the afternoon or even vacation here? I can easily envision taking a nap, a gentle breeze, laughing with friends and family.  If I could have a porch like this, I know that I’d be very content.  I would be comfortable.

In fact, many of us would be satisfied to stay right there on that great porch.  What’s not to like?  Relaxing, comfortable, and room to stretch out. Lazy like a Sunday afternoon.  Ahhhhhh, I feel that nap coming on!  But, you say, “It’s not our house! We haven’t met the owner, so how could we lay claim to their perfect porch?” Surely they wouldn’t mind if I stayed  just a moment or two!  It doesn’t appear that anyone is at home.  A gifted person who has created something this fabulous would surely want me to enjoy it. Right?

This is how I came into the life of grace.  I watched countless people come and go from “a house” that I had admired all my life.  Yet the vast majority were quite satisfied to live on the front porch. As part of my position, I have made more home visits than I can count to persons in our church family. Most every time I have been invited inside to visit or even sit down and make myself at home---even if I drop by unnounced.  The exceptions that I could count on one hand either met me at the door or in the driveway.  One dear woman, who did not have the gift of housekeeping walked me immediately back to my car after her kind husband invited me inside to visit!

Maybe you have figured out by now that I’m attempting to compare the unspeakable, infinite grace of God to a house; not just any house but a huge, welcoming home where -- if we will but enter -- the family inside will welcome us as if they have waited years for our arrival.  This is a home you’ve
driven by more than once and are caught off-guard each time you pass by something that inexplicably draws you.  Maybe you’ve had friends or family enter that house and follow them; or never before have you have seen or heard anything about the house or the occupants but you just have to know why people want to go there. 

The approach to the house is prevenient grace, a term John Wesley would have applied to the drawing of the Holy Spirit before you were ready to accept God’s love.  This is the grace that seeks, woos, chases, pursues you, even knitting you together in your Mother’s womb as Psalm 139 says.  I believe that you can even step on the porch and spend days or even years there without making a move for the door.

Some folks may debate “I found God….” to which I would cry long and loud “BULL!!!!” God never was, is or will be lost, friend.  See Romans 3:10-11; We were the ones who were lost. We couldn’t

find the nose on our face if it weren’t for the grace of God that has pursued us all these years! But God does wait, He watches and pleads for you put your hand up to knock on grace’s door, your fingers don’t even have a chance to recoil before God has flung the door open wide as it will go to receive you.  Yes, unbeknownst to you, He really has been waiting and watching until the very moment that you were ready to ask. When we call out to him, we find that He was indeed there all the time.

Next post, we’ll walk through the door because you are invited inside!

Just Perfect

John Wesley is best known for his tireless work in founding small groups within the Church of England that were called METHODIST sarcastically because of Wesley's insistance on being methodical in the Christian life: Bible reading, fasting, early to bed and to rise, journaling, etc.  Although it was a term of derision from mockers, it stuck, much like a kid's nickname that makes fun of some quirk.  While Methodism spread like wildfire for more than 200 years, there was one huge thorn on the rose of Methodism that became a real sticking point.

As a scholar, priest and a seeker, he took seriously all the words of scripture for an ordered, disciplined life.  Among those Biblical commands that John Wesley preached and proposed was what he called "perfection".  As used by Wesley, teleioi or τέλειοι, comes solely from the New Testament (Matthew 5:48, 1 Corinithians 14:20, Phillipians 3:15, Colossians 4:12, James 1:4) The Greek origin,  télos,   means traveling toward a destination or a consumation; it is closure or arrival at a goal.  Consider the old barbarian pirates with their eyeglass extending toward their destination--- the telescope.  Before leaving the Greek, I think it's interesting to see it as something that unfolds, stage by stage, a maturation, which is how I see perfection.  But why is perfection important and how does it apply to you and me?


John Wesley took a lot of ridicule because he broke out of the typical mold.   I think 99.9% his problem with the doctrine of perfection is what he chose to call it.  Systematic Theologian: yes. Organizer? Oh yeah! Marketing....not so much.   But when you call it holiness instead of perfection, it's it's easier to swallow, right? An even more palatable way to break it down is to call it growing in the faith.  It should describe all Christians who take the time and energy to read their Bible; who pray and seek to love God more in their heart and through their actions---not just on Sunday---but every day. Tell us we're supposed to be perfect and my eyes glaze over. I give up.  Can I, through Christ who gives me strength, love God and people? I will do my darned best!

Wesley believed that this was worked out in small accountability groups, where those on the same journey could ask hard but honest questions.  How, though, could they measure any progress on the road to perfection errrrr, holiness, I mean? It was pretty simple, actually.  The criteria Jesus would have used would be the greatest commandments (Matthew 22):

1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.
2. Love your neighbor as yourself.

John Wesley called it perfection.  Yet others have called it holiness. The key word is actually love.  Love God. Love others. As you grow toward God, you become more like Him, which is LOVE.  Just like in the triangle above, as you grow, the distance between yourself and God or yourself and others diminishes. Grow in love!

Pitching my Tent

If you're like me, there are one or two long distance friends that you still---even decades later---still connect with but rarely are able to see face to face.  Although we don't talk on a daily basis, we can pick up the conversation like it was moments instead of months or even years later.  How I hope and pray you have at least one of those friends.  This, and subsequent posts, are spurred by a couple of these recent conversations.

One thing I've noticed as I've grown up and grown older, I fought with my parents and worked hard not to be like them as a teenager and young adult.  As a new mother who had birthed an unbelievably strong willed child and left the hospital with no instruction book, my parents suddenly transformed into a combination of rock-star and brain surgeon wrapped into one. More than 20 years later, now that my Mom has passed and Dad nears 90, I realize how I wasted decades trying to avoid being around them and even trying not to be like them.  As their child, I am not only like my parents ..... I am my parents.  I love chocolate and desserts, seeing where history was made and meeting new people who expand my horizons.  A library is an attractive place where you can see pretty much the world from your own corner without spending a nickle.  I love to laugh and to share that laughter with those I love  as

well as complete strangers.  Some of this I learned; most of it came from simply being their child and being immersed in their particular school of persuasion.  

A large course of study in that persuasive school was church.  We attended Sunday morning for Sunday School and worship.  Vacation Bible School.  Youth Group. If the doors of the church were open, generally, we were there whether we wanted to be or not.  Call me odd, but I liked it.  I still like it.  One of the things I picked up along the way was the idea of growing in grace.  I don't recall that it was particularly taught but something I observed.  People are drawn to Christ and some even pinpoint that along the way there was a redemption moment (some might say a process, because they know they gave their life to Christ but cannot give you a specific date in time).  This redemption includes confessing that I am a sinner and that I need the forgiveness of Jesus to raise me out of and cleanse me from the things I've done wrong.  

For some people that's the essence of their relationship with God.  John Wesley believed that God calls us deeper, very much similar to the Disciples experience at Pentecost.  If you are familiar with this as described in the book of Acts, yes, it was marked by tongues of fire and men speaking in languages they had never spoken before.  Wesley believed---if you'll stay with me---that it wasn't so much about the speaking in tongues as it was the waiting on the arrival of the Holy Spirit.  The disciples were instructed, upon Jesus' departure, to wait.  As they waited together, they prayed.  Was the Holy Spirit present in this process? By all means, YES!  Did they feel the presence? Not necessarily.

 

For those of us who claim the name of Jesus and call God Father, we believe in God even when we cannot see or touch the One in whom we believe.  Many times we cannot see His presence in our circumstances until we look back.  As the Hebrew children finally left Egypt after the plagues of Pharoah, did they feel God's presence when they approached the Red Sea? Had I been in their shoes, I would have been chewing on my heart that was jumping out of my throat and into my mouth.  Even as they walked across and turned around to see Pharoah's army dashing into the path they had just left, it would be hard to see God at work!  Then the water came crashing down and drowned the army that had chased them from Egypt......THAT would be a moment of transformation.  

Like the Hebrew children, the choice is ours whether we cross the Red Sea and pitch our spiritual tents on the shore to settle there OR we continue forward, following God for the journey.  John Wesley followed deeply into the Promised Land, just as Caleb and Joshua encouraged. Will you go as well?

“Thomas loves to sing. Can you teach him voice lessons?” I have received this same call many times over the years.  Sometimes you can substitute piano in place of the voice request, but the question is essentially the same.  After learning the age of the student, I formulate my response based on the student’s personality, the parents and how disciplined I perceive the student and parent to be.  Generally---and this is where my opinion comes in, which is solely my opinion---I would start piano lessons around 1^st-3^rd grade.  Voices lessons should start around 8^th or 9^th grade;  puberty and the hormones that activate in the body (especially in the vocal chords) can really play a large part in this!  Both necessitate practice at home.  If your child is to excel in anything in life, be it soccer, dance, baseball or music, they will need to devote time and energy to it outside of the lesson! Students of anything will be, at best, mediocre without practice. 

This week I got another such request and wanted to share my thoughts after 25+ years of leading choirs and in music ministry.  First and foremost, I am thrilled when any student is singing and wants to pursue music ministry.  It is a tremendous blessing to be involved and to use music as a means to share the love of Christ and have a gift that God uses to touch the hearts of people in unspeakable ways! Music is something that should be studied with an insightful teacher on a weekly basis.  My son (who plans to major in music education), Christian's, lessons are once a week and often times twice a week!

Let me attempt to put into words some of the things I've learned and seen that might be of help to you:

1.  To succeed in anything and especially music, you have to be willing to practice.  I would say at HS level, this would mean a minimum of 3-5 hours a week. Middle School, would mean 2-3 hours a week....split over the course of 7 days. At the college level, this means probably 3-4 hours a day, depending on your instrument.  Let me further specify that when I say practice, this is on actual lesson material.  Getting distracted and launching off into P/W music or something popular, while fun, does not help the student make forward progress in the art. You have to invest time, energy and brain power. Practicing generally "weeds out" those who like music and singing as a hobby vs. those who want to pursue excellence.

2.  Many P/W leaders have studied music very little, if at all.  With some this is obvious, others not so much so.  Care for the instrument that God gave them (and to those they work with) will also be a "marker".

3.  I lead P/W but I am a classically trained musician.  These folks are rare birds!  Most see it as EITHER classical OR P/W and tend to look down on the other side for various reasons.  My view is that God has called me to lead worship....traditional and "contemporary"....and in so doing, how can I offer Him less than my best? How can I dare offer to Him something that cost me nothing---whether it be money, time or energy or all of the above? 

4.  IF God is leading a student toward such a ministry, my advice is to train classically while continuing to enjoy a VARIETY of music and stay involved in church music. Classical training with a heart for prayer, study and praise is a win/win situation to lead in a variety of environments.  I may write a whole ‘nother blog post on just that topic.  It’s too big to pursue in just 2-3 sentences.

In looking for a music teacher:

1. Expect to pay $30-50/hour or more for lessons

2. Call First Baptist Churches in small to large towns and ask for referrals for voice lessons.  The Baptists have done a better job at music education than all the other churches in the world combined—especially the Methodists.  Christian's teacher is a retired Baptist Music Minister.  They often have studied music education at the college and graduate level and moonlight as a private teacher. 

3.  Insist on your student learning music theory, which includes scales, chords, etc.  Too often I have seen well-meaning teachers that are high priced musical baby-sitters: students learn 2-3 songs every 6-12 months that requires no work outside their lessons. 

If your student wants to study anything, try private or group lessons for 6-9 months.  If they like it and take the time to practice without too much prodding, it’s worth it.  All students, young and old, go through difficult times where practice feels like more of a grind with no joy at all.  Try setting the timer for 30 minutes and practice at least that long; many times the biggest challenge is just getting started!  If your student is too busy with multiple activities to practice for one (or possibly all of them), they will never truly be a success.  Choose one or two at a time to focus on and pursue with passion! Continuing to chase a dream from your childhood through your son or daughter who has no interest is the equivalent to setting your money on fire.  Better yet, just give it to me! J 

I Fall Sometimes

King David is well known as the author of many of the Psalms we love and referred to as "a man after God's own heart." (Acts 13:22).  One day I hope that my kids and maybe my closest friends might refer to me as a woman after God's own heart---what a legacy!  But when you dig a little deeper, how on earth could someone like David be considered a "favorite" for God when he messed up royally more than once?  Truth be told, David could have focused on the failure and allowed it to rule his life.

Yes, David made mistakes.  He was definitely human.
He struggled with depression. A large number of the psalms he penned, starting with the 6th, specifically addressed struggles within and without.
He was an adulterer.  In 2 Samuel 11 chronicles how David saw Bathsheba, invited her to the palace and slept with a married woman.  Then...
In an attempt to cover up his adultery, he planned and insured a murder. In the same chapter, when Bathsheba sent word to David that she was pregnant (her husband Uriah had been away at war), David instructed that Uriah be sent to the very front of the battle and the troops around him withdraw.  Sounds like murder and manipulation to me.  Sounds like original sin: seeing something you want and manipulating people and circumstances to insure your needs are met.

HOW on earth could this man be called a favorite, one whom God loved and cherished above others?  Yes, David was called at an early age.  He followed God and served King Saul, always choosing the high road despite Saul's attempts to pursue and murder him.  God honored that early calling and David became King over Israel.  He even overcame conspiracies from his sons who plotted to overthrow him.  But somewhere along the way, David got comfortable.  And he succombed to original sin: "it's all about me and what I want."

Enter Nathan, Prophet and Pastor to the King.  He is not here to pat David and the back and give him "atta-boys".  No, Nathan was there to deliver God's word that David had pure and simple MESSED UP: and while the King thought it was secret, it was not.  How many times have I done things in my younger years thinking, "it will never make a difference.....no one will ever find out." Character is who you are in the smallest of tasks, especially when you think no one is looking.  When you think no one will find out.

David deserved judgement.  In reality, he deserved to die.  He did not deserve to be called God's favorite! The key is 2 Samuel 12:13-14.  When confronted with his sin, David confessed.  Yep.  He "manned up". I believe this act---and probably others like it---are what earned him the title we know him by.  David had faith in God and believed that God would save him even from Goliath; he loved God's word and showed gratitude as exemplified time and time again in the Psalms.  And last but not least, when he messed up, he owned up to it and sought forgiveness:  Psalm 51 is the prayer that came from David's heart.  If you have messed up like I have a multitude of times, seek the Lord and find comfort that you are not the first to need God's grace.  "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.  Cast me not away from your presence, O Lord, and take not your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation and renew a right spirit within me."

In so doing, you will find the same forgiveness that countless others have received. When you observe the depth of love and forgiveness God offers to you, you will see why David was a man after God's heart.

Circumcision

It is widely accepted that this is a procedure done to infant males of the Judeo-Christian beliefs.  With that out of the way, I'm more concerned about how the Bible applies circumcision with our spiritual lives.  Maybe you've never stopped to consider this but I've been running this through my mind for about 6 months, since I first read about the concept.  

Circumcision was introduced in the Old Testament for several reasons, primarily to set apart those who would follow God (i.e. the Hebrew children) as a sign of their dedication.  According to Hastings Dictionary of the Bible: "Jewish teachers...regarded this as purification from obstinancy and imperfection.  The rite was regarded as a token in the flesh (symbolic) of God's divine grace in the heart (see Deuteronomy 30:6). To do so promotoes cleanliness, fruitfulness and avoidance of disease."

Stick with me.  Some Bible interpreters have actually used cleansing and circumcision interchangeably.  In Justifying grace, we invite God to circumcize our hearts to promote cleansing from sin and avoidance of  the same so that we can be fruitful in our Christian lives.  Circumcision is symbolic of removing original sin---the desire all humans inherit from Adam and Eve to be self-sufficient...wanting to look good/worshipping ourselves and our wants (pride).  The "flesh" that Paul often referrs to is original sin: the desire to be in charge, the desire to please self.  

When I asked God to forgive my sins --- my actions that drove a wedge between myself and His love -- He gladly and lovingly did so simply because I asked! Justification is a multi-layered term: 

• when God forgives my sins, He makes it "just-as-if" I'd never sinned by forgiving and forgetting (Psalm 103:12), something God does easily but humans struggle with. 
• If you're as old as I am, you know the terminology for margins on the typewriter: justification brings the text "into line" with the rest of the words. 
• If brought up on trial, justification means total forgiveness of guilt and being regarded as innocent.  

Does justification mean you're perfect? That you never sin again?  No.  But that's a topic for another day.  

 

I Lost Her Boob

This morning I was cleaning out my refrigerator.  Off topic in the first sentence? Stay with me---one thing leads to another.  As I was putting everything back into the 'fridge, I picked up two cans of ginger ale that were now very slippery with condensation and, when combined with my wet hands, promptly fell. One hit my toe just right and the other can slipped into oblivion and I gave up looking for it to concentrate on my bleeding toe. Until I put the cheese drawer back into the 'fridge.  Yes......  We have a cheese drawer.  That's a whole other topic, so don't go there.

The cheese drawer is the very bottom of my french door refrigerator and, thus, the last to be inserted.  But it would not close all the way, even after some "encouraging" shoving.  With a throbbing toe, I yanked out said deviant drawer to see what the cause was.  You guessed correctly: the second can of pink ginger ale.

Immediately I was transported back to one of my most educational life experiences. As a 19 year old, my first "real" job was working as an aid in a nursing home.  Back in the stone age of my youth, one did not have to jump through hoops to be certified for this or that.  We didn't do anything that needed special training for the most part.  It just required hard work, a strong back and .... stupidity or lack of fear---I'm not sure which one but I was special..... I possessed BOTH.  The youngest of five, I had never seen a dirty diaper, let alone changed one.  I had never babysat....and never wanted to!  To say that this job helped me grow up is a huge understatement.

I had a patient named Cleduth (not her real name, which has been changed to protect her privacy).  The dear woman was large: probably 5'10" and weighed approximately 170-180lbs.  She occupied space....I don't think she blinked and never responded to any verbal interaction or physical touch.  Her body was going strong but there was no way to communicate.  On this infamous day, I had just started my 3-11 shift and was checking patients for immediate needs.  Cleduth's room was about the half-way point on my hall and so far, everyone was good.  So far.

Because she was not ambulatory, Cleduth was normally dressed in a night gown.  Her guardian must have had a broken thermostat because Cleduth never felt cold but always had on a long-sleeved FLANNEL nightgown. The longest kind that covers your ankles.  Because she didn't move on her own, Cleduth would normally be put to bed after supper and then turned and propped with a blanket. Have you got a picture of this woman in mind? Even when moving from her vinyl chair to the bed, it was up to her caregiver to pivot and set her on the bed and then lay her down.  I say all this to lay the foundation for my faux pas.

On this particular, and so far very good and uneventful day, I came to Cleduth's room and smelled urine from the doorway.  Not good.  Unblinking and unphased, she sat on a thick cotton pad that had soaked up what appeared to be about 2 gallons of "output".  This was before the advent of disposable undergarments. Her flannel gown was also dripping wet.  I set about the task of attemping remove the wet accoutrements, clean the patient and replace with a clean, dry pad and gown.  It was a formidable job, as I look back; I was young. Stupid. As a bonus, I had no fear, both of which were previously stated.  Until I was about to pull her clean gown down over Cleduth's head.  That's when everything changed; fear choked me and stupidity made me panic.

Let me state the obvious.  If you don't know already, as you age, body parts do NOT stay in the same place. They shift. They sag.  Some parts just, well....they fall or drop.  Yes, especially boobs.  As I did a quick once over while re-dressing Cleduth in the gown, I noted that sag was not an adequate word at all.  Then I realized something was VERY wrong.  There was only one boob.  OH, LORD JESUS, HAVE MERCY---I LOST HER BOOB.

To say the least, I  was fraught with panic. "How on earth will I explain this to my supervisor? OR to Cleduth's family?" I stepped back and looked....yep, only one boob as I began rehearsing the phone call I would have to make.  "Good afternoon, Mr. Smith.  I hope you're doing well.  I'm your mother's care-giver today and I called to tell you she remains in good condition except for for one small thing.  I seem to have misplaced her breast."  I pulled her forward as she sat in the chair to make sure it had not somehow gotten caught behind her back or under the arm of the chair.  No such luck.

As I began to think how on earth I would address this issue with the shift nurse, it caught my eye.  No, it was not the lost boob.  It was a meticulous and surgically straight line exactly where her left breast would have -- or should have-- been. It was very faded but definitely there. If she could have responded, I don't whether Cleduth would have laughed or cried.  I only shook my head in disbelief.

I blew out the breath I had been holding for what seemed like hours and pulled the clean gown back down to her ankles, thankful neither of us had lost anything that day---her boob or my job.

EASY Chicken Noodle Soup

EASY -- PEAZZY Chicken Noodle Soup

If you haven't already cooked your chicken, check out the previous blogpost on doing so.  If you have some left-over Chicken or Turkey, use it!  Please remember that when possible, I cook in bigger portions in order to freeze for later use.  You are welcome to reduce the recipe by half and make it managable.

INGREDIENTS
1 Stick Butter (Yes, butter!)
1 Cup Celery, Diced
1 Cup Carrots, Diced
1 Cup Onions, Diced
2 Bay Leaves
8 Cups Chicken Broth (2 large boxes)
8 oz. Noodles (I used the kind to the right)
3-4 Cups Cooked Chicken, Cubed

Optional: Cilantro, Basil, Parsley:
If using these dried, use about 1 teaspoon of any or all three.
Fresh? Use 1-2 tablespoons.

DIRECTIONS

Celery, Carrot, Onion

Melt Butter in large, heavy  pan.  Let me detour briefly to say I bought a large enamel coated, cast iron  dutch oven and it is my FAVORITE EVER.....except it weighs about 80 lbs.  Not really, but it feels like it. 
Once the butter is melted, add celery, carrots, onions and saute until vegetables are tender, approximately 5-10 minutes depending on the level of heat you're using.  I also add salt and pepper at this point.  A couple pinches of salt and several grinds of pepper.

Once vegetables are sufficiently dead/soft, Add remaining ingredients EXCEPT for noodles.  Let simmer for awhile, depending on how soon you need to serve it!  About 10 minutes before serving, turn heat to medium high and add noodles to soup.  Too thick? Add  little water.  Caution, do not overcook the noodles as they will be nasty.  I would not cook them more than 10-15 minutes.  Turn off the heat and move to a cooler part of your stove.

If you chop the vegetables ahead and your chicken is already cooked, this could be ready to serve in about 30 minutes.  Not bad for an easy, homecooked meal, especially on a cold winter night when your family might be feeling puny.  There are healing properties in Chicken Soup!

Left-Overs are great or, as I said before, freeze them to use later.

Cooking Chicken for a Variety of Recipes

I'm an easy woman.  Well, that doesn't sound right!  I like to keep things EASY and simple!  One of my favorite things is to buy bulk chicken breasts on sale and cook them ahead to use for a variety of recipes,  This is right up there next to brain surgery. NOT!  If you are intelligent enough to make it to the grocery store and purchase your own food, you can do this.  If I continue to post this kind of stuff (does anybody need it? want it?), I may rename the blog something like "Never Cooked Before" or "Learn From the Village Idiot".  :)

Equipment Needed:
Crock Pot
If you don't have a crock pot, you can still do this....get the heaviest pan you own and put it on the stove! A crock pot is just that the easiest way.


Ingredients
Large Package SKINLESS, BONELESS Chicken Breasts (I purchase family size that has 6-9 breasts in it)
Water: Approximately 1-2 Cups

Strain the broth to get that
 foamy, yucky, bloody
stuff that turned white when cooked.  

First, I have the "Big Mama" Crock Pot that is like 6 quarts;  this allows me to double this recipe. My hint right here: if you can double a recipe and freeze enough for at least one meal AND you have room in your freezer, you are an idiot not to save yourself some time! Double when possible.

Rinse chicken breasts and throw in crock pot. This does not have to be pretty or artistic.  As long as they are mounded altogether in one spot but spread relatively evenly, you can't go wrong.  Add water. IF YOU WANT, you can add salt/pepper but I don't.  Totally up to you. Turn on low and cook 6ish hours. I go to the grocery in the evening, and then put them in the crock pot when I get home and they cook overnight.  If you're cooking on the stove top, choose a pot that will allow you to cook the chicken--with water added--- and still have room to stir if you want. Cook until meat is done: no longer pink inside and juices run clear if you cut into it.  This is good!

Chicken Broth! I know what
you THINK it looks like!

Remove Chicken from crockpot and allow to cool. While cooling, pour broth in pot through a strainer to remove that nasty, foamy white stuff!  DO NOT THROW AWAY THE BROTH!

Always label before freezing so you
are sure what you're pulling out.

When I take Chicken out of the crock pot, I put it on a big plate or cutting board so that I can use this same thing as I pull it apart and drop the meat into the plastic bags from here.  The more you can spread out the meat on the plate or cutting board, the quicker it will cool! The chicken be chopped or just pulled apart. After cooking it that long, it will pretty much fall apart.  If you choose to cut it, think of cutting 1-2" across the grain of the meat. According to the size of your family (or just you) place pulled chicken in quart size zipper bag. For my family, this is approximately 3 cups per bag. Pour a small quantity of chicken broth into bag before sealing and pressing extra air from the bag.  Label and put in freezer for future use.  Still have broth to use? Throw it in a zipper bag and freeze it to make Chicken Noodle Soup!

Ready for the freezer!

 Coming next: Recipe for Chicken Noodle Soup.  Easy--Peezey!